I roll over and see the glow of the clock reading 3:12 AM and I immediately feel my heart beat start to quicken.
I’ve been tossing and turning for hours and my mind is racing with a whole host of things like the business that will bring me millions, traveling to foreign lands, the spelling test that I cheated on in the third grade, the errands and to-do lists for tomorrow, or if I should have sold the crypto currency I bought when it was high…
But everything changes when I see the numbers on the clock. The ideas for business ideas get pushed aside and now all I can think about is how non-functional I will be tomorrow with only three hours of sleep when I’m already running extremely low in the sleep department. How am I going to accomplish any of my goals if I don’t have the energy or the mental capacity to focus?
The panic starts to set in…
Calm down, just breathe. In for four breathes, hold for seven, and out for eight. And repeat. I start to calm myself down from a mini breakdown of exhaustion (which has ended many times in hour-long sobs).
Lack of sleep is NO JOKE and it’s been a real struggle. Is this what being an adult is like? Is this some sort of joke the universe is playing on me? “Um, hello, Universe, I thought you were aware but I don’t have kids yet!” Or is there some sort of imbalance causing me to stay awake?
I know for sue that this is NOT the life I’m supposed to be living with scant sleep, tired eyes and a short fuse. I’m going to take a Hard Pass and refuse to have sleepless nights dictate my days anymore.
So, what’s the holdup?
In a recent life coaching session, I was told that I am sleep walking thru the day, doing my tasks without thinking about them and not quite feeling fully purposeful in the day. However, at night my mind is scheming exciting adventures to live and experience. It seems I have swapped my days and nights. So, I’ve vowed to myself to scheme up exciting adventures and actually doing them during the day and the night is for sleep to rest, restore & renew and my mind will be satisfied with the day. Basically my body/mind is telling me at night that the life I’m living during the day is not the life that is intended for me. I’m meant for something else.
Um right, okay… So, where do I start and what do I change?
I guess the old saying has a good point; you have to change something in your life if you want your life to change…
Starting point: I’ve made a vow to myself (with the help of my trusty life coach) to take charge and bring into my life the things that will satisfy my wants and desires. Starting with adventure.
I’ve made a couple small changes to bring some immediate adventure into my life by going to new coffee shops to work instead of working from home, getting crafty with date nights (think comedy clubs, art shows, sounds baths, live music, beach walks, sunset picnics, bringing friends along and more) and the most obvious, planning more getaways, near and far.
Long term, I can even be more adventurous with my business (ahem, using this blog as a source of adventure!) or finally start selling my products at the farmers market until they’re a massive success and are in stores everywhere (the start the manifesting process).
It’s only been about a week since this realization of a life change and good news; Longer and deeper sleep…for the most part.
So, my advice to everyone is if you notice something not going well in your life, something that is maybe keeping you up at night, or causing unwanted stress or anxiety – YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE IT. Listen to your body and hear the message that something is not quite working.
With everything, change takes time. The sooner you realize that an adjustment needs to happen, the sooner you can make the transformation. It might come naturally or you might have to put some real elbow grease into navigating the root of the problem.
Stay tuned for my revamping breakthroughs and if you feel like sharing, I’d love to hear any challenges, progress and/or success you have had when you’ve realized that a life revision needs to happen.